Modern Zombies

I have been sitting at the table for ten minutes, and no waitress has come. I have been passed by another waitress three times and not once has she recognized that I am even in the realm of existence. Two cigarette butts have been stamped out in the ashtray that, thankfully, was already on the table when I sat down. I can now see that these people suffer from SEP. “Someone Else’s Problem.”

I learned about SEP from the great and venerable sage Douglas Adams. The way that SEP works is that most people have a trigger in their brains that tell them to block out any other activity that does not directly pertain to them. This trigger activates in situations that would normally cause someone to notice and/or act upon a strange event or object. SEP has become so rampant in our society though that it has evolved to encompass even mundane tasks that don’t directly influence or affect us. Such as asking an angry looking gentleman, that is not her customer and smoking his fifth cigarette, whether another waitress has helped him yet and if he would like a drink.

This evolved state of SEP is commonly called “Wal-Mart Syndrome.” Growing up in the South I have come to the realization that Wal-Mart is like the hillbilly Disneyland. Picture this….it’s Saturday night and there is nothing to do. The time is approaching midnight. If you live in a large metropolitan area you might be thinking that a nightclub or bar is an option to explore. If you live in one of the small cities, Wal-Mart is usually the first destination that springs to mind.

If you have ever been in Wal-Mart, and are a keen observer of human behavior, then you will almost instantly recognize the “Wal-Mart Syndrome” apparent all around you. The people pushing their buggies around with disregard for those around them, causing the fall of several objects from their displays when evasive action makes them swerve into the nearest shelf. The fact that no one is looking anyone else in the eyes for fear of seeing their own zombie-like visages staring back at them. Generally, the lack of emotion and regard for anyone else around them so as not to create a confrontation, whether good or bad. This is the “Wal-Mart Syndrome”…the fact that everyone is wrapped up in their own little world, and to stray from that world in order to notice or act toward or on behalf of someone else is a frightening thing that triggers this closing off of the mind.

Yet, the syndrome is not just central to or contained within the walls of a Wal-Mart. We have taken this to encompass everyday life around us. People don’t use their blinkers anymore, and if someone runs off the road trying to avoid an accident then it’s someone else’s problem. A confrontation in a parking lot that will surely lead to the harm of an individual doesn’t concern us, because if we did something then it might become our problem instead of someone else’s. Stopping to ask someone, that is not our customer, if they would like a drink and a menu would result in the lost time of two minutes that might be better utilized standing around.

We have become modern zombies that go through our daily lives and don’t notice the world around us until the world around us walks up to us and smears shit in our face. Then it becomes our problem and we wonder, “Where did this come from?” “How come I didn’t see this coming?” But being resolute to change our habits would result in us having to care about others around us, and that could be detrimental in the long run because then we would have to worry about others all the time. And that takes time away from worrying about ourselves. Because if we don’t worry about ourselves, there might be a chance that someone else will not worry about us either. Then the whole system goes up in flames.

Like a stickman.