T.O.D.
“Whoever holds TOD holds the power!”
This is a quote from my old roommate Joe. Before living with Joe I had no idea what he was talking about. (He was a philosophy major so sometimes when he said things I just chalked it up to him practicing talking to himself and dismissed them) But after a lengthy conversation with him, with many circle arguments thrown in for free, he finally explained the concept of TOD and its rules and applications.
TOD is an acronym for Tool Of Domination. Before anyone things I am into S&M let me state that TOD refers to the remote control. Yes, the remote control. The way it works is thus…if you have the remote control for the television then you control the mood and atmosphere of the room by choosing what it is that is watched. This is an important concept for a) an apartment shared by five people and b) a large family with many kids. There are a strict set of rules that also go along with TOD.
The Rules of T.O.D.
1)Whoever has TOD chooses what is watched.
2)If the other people in the room do not like what the owner of TOD is watching, then the owner can be forced to turn the channel with a 75% vote. If there are only three people in the room…though.
3)TOD cannot be taken by force, TOD can only be given away by the controller of TOD to another person of his/her choosing.
4)The holder of TOD can leave the room and, though he/she may loss TOD’s control for a short time, is still rightful holder of TOD when he/she gets back.
5)An amendment to the above rule is…if the holder is gone for more than ten minutes without an explanation of where he/she is going then ownership of TOD reverts to the present holder.
Example: If Joe gets up and says “I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” then Joe retains ownership of TOD upon return. If Joe, on the other hand, gets up and goes to the bathroom,then he cannot expect to get TOD back when he gets back.
The reason for this amendment is to prevent someone from going to take a nap and then coming back an hour later and expecting to have ownership of TOD.
6)Another amendment to rule #3 is the “thirty minute rule.” If the current owner of TOD leaves for thirty minutes or more, even if they tell everyone else where they are going, then he/she relinquishes ownership of TOD.
7)If TOD is left by the owner and picked up by someone else who walks in the room the ownership reverts to the new person because he/she was not present when the previous owner left and is taken as if it were left for the taking.
8)These rules can be changed as Joe or Dave see fit.
The rules and implications that accompany TOD are a fair and balanced system that we should model most of our world governments on. President Bush is already playing by the TOD rules (especially rule #8). The reason I bring TOD up is that my wife recently invoked rule #4 on me and it brought back memories of college. I realized that such simple things that in life can stay with you and have a profound effect on you in later years. Even though college was over three years ago for us, I still remember such a silly thing as TOD. (It’s not so silly when you are arguing with two other guys who have constricted views on the world and the way it works.)
Things like TOD seem to stick to people even after they have outlived their purpose. Phrases that Joe and Dave used to say, drinking songs that we used to sing, and other idiosyncrasies tend to bring back memories that were once thought lost or forgotten. I haven’t spoken to Dave or Joe since graduation, but their spirit lives on in things like the Rules of TOD, and the “Rye Whiskey” song.
Rye whiskey, rye whiskey
Rye whiskey, I cry
If I don’t get rye whiskey
I think I might die
If the ocean was whiskey
And I was a duck
I’d go to the bottom
And never come up
Ah….memories.
This is a quote from my old roommate Joe. Before living with Joe I had no idea what he was talking about. (He was a philosophy major so sometimes when he said things I just chalked it up to him practicing talking to himself and dismissed them) But after a lengthy conversation with him, with many circle arguments thrown in for free, he finally explained the concept of TOD and its rules and applications.
TOD is an acronym for Tool Of Domination. Before anyone things I am into S&M let me state that TOD refers to the remote control. Yes, the remote control. The way it works is thus…if you have the remote control for the television then you control the mood and atmosphere of the room by choosing what it is that is watched. This is an important concept for a) an apartment shared by five people and b) a large family with many kids. There are a strict set of rules that also go along with TOD.
The Rules of T.O.D.
1)Whoever has TOD chooses what is watched.
2)If the other people in the room do not like what the owner of TOD is watching, then the owner can be forced to turn the channel with a 75% vote. If there are only three people in the room…though.
3)TOD cannot be taken by force, TOD can only be given away by the controller of TOD to another person of his/her choosing.
4)The holder of TOD can leave the room and, though he/she may loss TOD’s control for a short time, is still rightful holder of TOD when he/she gets back.
5)An amendment to the above rule is…if the holder is gone for more than ten minutes without an explanation of where he/she is going then ownership of TOD reverts to the present holder.
Example: If Joe gets up and says “I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” then Joe retains ownership of TOD upon return. If Joe, on the other hand, gets up and goes to the bathroom,then he cannot expect to get TOD back when he gets back.
The reason for this amendment is to prevent someone from going to take a nap and then coming back an hour later and expecting to have ownership of TOD.
6)Another amendment to rule #3 is the “thirty minute rule.” If the current owner of TOD leaves for thirty minutes or more, even if they tell everyone else where they are going, then he/she relinquishes ownership of TOD.
7)If TOD is left by the owner and picked up by someone else who walks in the room the ownership reverts to the new person because he/she was not present when the previous owner left and is taken as if it were left for the taking.
8)These rules can be changed as Joe or Dave see fit.
The rules and implications that accompany TOD are a fair and balanced system that we should model most of our world governments on. President Bush is already playing by the TOD rules (especially rule #8). The reason I bring TOD up is that my wife recently invoked rule #4 on me and it brought back memories of college. I realized that such simple things that in life can stay with you and have a profound effect on you in later years. Even though college was over three years ago for us, I still remember such a silly thing as TOD. (It’s not so silly when you are arguing with two other guys who have constricted views on the world and the way it works.)
Things like TOD seem to stick to people even after they have outlived their purpose. Phrases that Joe and Dave used to say, drinking songs that we used to sing, and other idiosyncrasies tend to bring back memories that were once thought lost or forgotten. I haven’t spoken to Dave or Joe since graduation, but their spirit lives on in things like the Rules of TOD, and the “Rye Whiskey” song.
Rye whiskey, rye whiskey
Rye whiskey, I cry
If I don’t get rye whiskey
I think I might die
If the ocean was whiskey
And I was a duck
I’d go to the bottom
And never come up
Ah….memories.
posted by Burning Stickman at 8:35 PM
4 Comments:
That's hillarious. We used similar rules in my dorm room for the remote control. I get what you mean.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
you suck
Thanks. You too.
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