"The Phrase"
The workplace is a good area to watch and discover the inner workings of the human mind, because often our characters are laid bare no matter how much we try to hide our secret selves from others. Co-workers, underlings, and bosses provide a rich canvas from which we can sample and explore the subtle nuances of our souls.
Okay, so it’s not as glamorous as all that, but usually work can provide material for a humorous piece of literature.
Today I heard an absurd phrase uttered to one of my colleagues and I want to explore this. The phrase goes thus…. “If you don’t like your job then you don’t have to work here.” This hit me later on as a totally absurd and useless phrase for inciting the fear of losing one’s job, which is the purpose that made the person who said it say it. Let me explain how exactly this falls short of its intention.
The phrase “If you don’t like your job you don’t have here” is only said by one of two people. 1) Is a co-worker who hears the daily rumblings of dislike that another co-worker might be uttering. If this is the case then the co-worker who says “the phrase” knows that the other co-worker is unhappy in his/her job and is inquiring whether said co-worker is looking for another occupation. If this is the case then “the phrase” saying co-worker is just being supportive, and possibly inquisitive as to whether the other co-worker has any leads on new horizons of work that he-she might also explore.
2) The second type of person to use “the phrase” is a boss of some kind. This is where the absurdity comes in. If the boss is using “the phrase” then the employee has said or done something that the boss dislikes and is using “the phrase” in a threatening way. This a pointless exercise. One, because it is a cosmic law that employees generally hate the profession that they are in because it is not the profession that they chose. A mixture of circumstances, usually the need for money and the unavailability of an opening in the worker’s preferred profession, is often what forces us to take jobs that we don’t like and stay in them until something better comes along. This is where the “If you don’t like your job…” part of “the phrase” breaks down. Most warm bodies don’t like to work anyway and if you are not collecting a paycheck by sitting on a beach and drinking margaritas then you probably don’t like you job either. So that point is moot.
Second, the last of the phrase “…then you don’t have to work here.” is an absurd notion. Of course the person has to work there, unless they are on the “no eating” diet. Our country is run not by presidents or princes, but by little pieces of green paper that have no mind of their own as to their owners wants and needs. If people don’t have these pieces of paper then they don’t do fun stuff like eat or stay warm in the winter. So yes, the person does have to work there, whether he/she likes it or not. If they didn’t have to work there then the boss who uttered “the phrase” would already know this due to the two weeks notice that the employee has given him/her before “the phrase” was even spoken. There are not many people who find a better job and then wait for the boss to say “the phrase” before they quit. People usually leave a job they dislike as soon as something better comes along.
Thus, “the phrase” is a useless tool in striking fear into the hearts of employees because even if an employee doesn’t like his/her job they have to stay and make money if they want to exist in today’s economy. And if they do find a better job then the boss who might use “the phrase” would know about it even before they have to sink to the bottom of the boss/employee transactional sentences to drudge up such a phrase as “If you don’t like your job then you don’t have to work here.”
Isn’t observation in the workplace fun!
Okay, so it’s not as glamorous as all that, but usually work can provide material for a humorous piece of literature.
Today I heard an absurd phrase uttered to one of my colleagues and I want to explore this. The phrase goes thus…. “If you don’t like your job then you don’t have to work here.” This hit me later on as a totally absurd and useless phrase for inciting the fear of losing one’s job, which is the purpose that made the person who said it say it. Let me explain how exactly this falls short of its intention.
The phrase “If you don’t like your job you don’t have here” is only said by one of two people. 1) Is a co-worker who hears the daily rumblings of dislike that another co-worker might be uttering. If this is the case then the co-worker who says “the phrase” knows that the other co-worker is unhappy in his/her job and is inquiring whether said co-worker is looking for another occupation. If this is the case then “the phrase” saying co-worker is just being supportive, and possibly inquisitive as to whether the other co-worker has any leads on new horizons of work that he-she might also explore.
2) The second type of person to use “the phrase” is a boss of some kind. This is where the absurdity comes in. If the boss is using “the phrase” then the employee has said or done something that the boss dislikes and is using “the phrase” in a threatening way. This a pointless exercise. One, because it is a cosmic law that employees generally hate the profession that they are in because it is not the profession that they chose. A mixture of circumstances, usually the need for money and the unavailability of an opening in the worker’s preferred profession, is often what forces us to take jobs that we don’t like and stay in them until something better comes along. This is where the “If you don’t like your job…” part of “the phrase” breaks down. Most warm bodies don’t like to work anyway and if you are not collecting a paycheck by sitting on a beach and drinking margaritas then you probably don’t like you job either. So that point is moot.
Second, the last of the phrase “…then you don’t have to work here.” is an absurd notion. Of course the person has to work there, unless they are on the “no eating” diet. Our country is run not by presidents or princes, but by little pieces of green paper that have no mind of their own as to their owners wants and needs. If people don’t have these pieces of paper then they don’t do fun stuff like eat or stay warm in the winter. So yes, the person does have to work there, whether he/she likes it or not. If they didn’t have to work there then the boss who uttered “the phrase” would already know this due to the two weeks notice that the employee has given him/her before “the phrase” was even spoken. There are not many people who find a better job and then wait for the boss to say “the phrase” before they quit. People usually leave a job they dislike as soon as something better comes along.
Thus, “the phrase” is a useless tool in striking fear into the hearts of employees because even if an employee doesn’t like his/her job they have to stay and make money if they want to exist in today’s economy. And if they do find a better job then the boss who might use “the phrase” would know about it even before they have to sink to the bottom of the boss/employee transactional sentences to drudge up such a phrase as “If you don’t like your job then you don’t have to work here.”
Isn’t observation in the workplace fun!
posted by Burning Stickman at 8:21 PM
2 Comments:
the workplace is where i get a great deal of my "stories". i have not, however, heard "the phrase" uddered in quite a while. it could either be that the bosses have realized that "the phrase" is a waste of brain power and have come up with more clever threats or they have come to realize that i go into work everday hoping a reason to quit will arise. either way, your boss needs some new material.
You left out a third reason. The boss might hope that the employee will get mad enough to walk out so they do not have to worry about paying unemployment. I also believe that whether or not your happy with your job you should still give your best. In addition, I believe that jobs choose us in todays economy. In other words, you take a job that is available.
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