Quasi-Futuristic Jumpsuit Anyone?
Has anyone ever seen Logan’s Run? Or Clockwork Orange? Or Gattaca? Or that episode of the Simpson’s where Homer stumbles into a world run by Flanders? Or any other science fiction movie that involves the government controlling the population? Well, it seems like these movies are cutting closer to home every day.
I heard on National Public Radio yesterday that there is a school in Massachusetts who is taking control of a very serious problem plaguing the student body and threatening to crumble society as we know it. The problem? Students wearing too much cologne. I shit you not.
The school wants to make the student body “fragrance free” in an attempt to lower the chances of asthma attacks that may be caused by heavy smells. Obviously, kids in Cape Cod high schools don’t sweat like they do in Tennessee high schools because I knew some guys that put on enough cologne to kill a yak and still smelled like four-day-old armpit. So, the question is when do the needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many? I’ll re-direct that question. When is it all right to restrict one group of people to better the lives of others? This question is kind of close to the surface for me because I smoke. I have had debates with many people over the subject of the government restricting the rights of smokers, and for some reason the anti-smokers see us as a health risk.
We’ve tried this before, if anyone remembers. We tried segregation because some simple-minded people decided that African Americans were different and so shouldn’t be integrated with white people. Segregation failed because it was wrong to separate people because of their color. Prohibition came along because some people thought that drinking was bad, so instead of letting people decide for themselves what they did with their own bodies they decided to cut off drinking entirely. The notion was that if you got rid of the cause (booze) then you could cure the people (Fred). But Prohibition fell on its face too. So now we think that we can cure second-hand smoke and discourage smokers by banning it in public places. Where’s my quasi-futuristic jumpsuit? I might as well start wearing it now.
The thing is, the government is starting to take the small things away from us because they bother other people. It has been argued to me that if my line of thinking was followed that next I would say it was okay to stab a guy in the street or diddle my biscuit (play with myself) in public. No, I am saying that after they take away the little things that bother other people (smoking, religion) then what is next. Those shirts with the clever sayings like “Professional Muff Diver” bother some people, so the next logical step is to ban shirts with words on them. But then the colors might be offensive to some, so a ban on colors comes into effect (see where I’m going yet?). Soon, (just like there was in school) there will be a dress code and everyone will be wearing non-offensive, conforming garments. So I’m gonna get ahead of the game and open my jumpsuit store now. Burning Stickman’s Quasi-Futuristic Jumpsuit Emporium! It just rolls off the tongue.
The kicker is...I’m gonna let the customers smoke while they shop.
posted by Burning Stickman at 1:44 PM
3 Comments:
I don't like Jumpsuites, they make my but look big 8-}
"Amen" and "Yeah Brother" to each and every factoid you listed. The Land of the Free ain't so free any more.
Well, as a former smoker I agree it is up to the individual as to what shade of black they want their lungs to be. Smoking in public; I'm satisfied if the smoking area is well vented and a good buffer zone from non-smoking. Let's face it some places one should expect to inhale some second-hand smoke i.e a bar, bowling alleys, Keith Richards and the like. Besides,I still enjoy a good cigar now and again. Now Jim Ignitowski did sport a mean jump suit on Taxi.
To Junebugg...thanks for the support baby. Jumpsuits make everyone look fat, it's part of the design. There have been plenty of jumpsuit designs that have been rejected because they didn't make people look fat enough. (conspiracy?)
To Bushmaster...how many liberals do you know? Most of the liberals I know both smoke and drink. Isn't Bloomburg a conservative Republican? You know, the guy that banned smoking in New York? As for the Left wanting people to be poor and complaciant, the Left are the ones who want an equalization to take place in the classes. The big money Republicans are the ones who complain the most about poverty and do the least to aleviate it.
As to Eddie...I agree. We can keep smoking where it belongs. In the bars Now, this doen't mean that every bar has to have smoking, but make the ones that are bothered by it (the hippies who complain about smoking in public places) get their own place. Set up completely non-smoking bars and restaruants for these people so that they can choose to seperate themselves instead of punishing smokers and making them feel ostricized.
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