Squirrels Beware
It is getting closer and closer to tee time!
This Saturday will be my first USTA tennis match of the season, but every time I get out and hit some yellow, fuzzy balls around a court I can’t help but think about when I will get to hit some small, white balls into the trees. I would say fairway…but that’s not how I tend to golf.
I broke out the clubs the other day and decided to take a couple of practice strokes with my irons. I took a couple of swings on my patio, but it didn’t feel right. The swings were coming off too straight. Something was wrong. So I went outside and took a couple of groundstrokes at pecans. The first two came off straight, and I was worried, but then the rest sliced right and into the trees. That’s more like it.
Tennis is good for exercise, but there is nothing like hitting a ball 150 yards into a stand of poplar and watching 45 obese squirrels scatter for cover. But the tennis exercise helps when you accidentally drive your ball into the group of mutated squirrels and have to haul ass back to the golf cart.
Squirrels beware…soon I’ll be hitting the links and invading your territory with my high slices and hooks. Nowhere is safe from my misguided missiles.
posted by Burning Stickman at 10:08 AM
3 Comments:
I thought the whole purpose of golf was to get half drunk and then drive around in the little cart while getting totally wasted!
That comes in about mid-season, when you've got over the "knock the rust off" stage and before you hit the end of season "don't care where your ball went" stage.
But, if you are like me and constantly in both these stages throughout the season...well then downing a couple of five beers and driving the cart into trenches to scare up the turtles is the way to have fun.
I like the idea of full contact gulf better
john
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