Thwarting Death

An attempt on my life was made yesterday. Someone, mistaking me for a reincarnation of Julius Caesar, tried to kill me on the Ides of March. Their weapon of choice...jelly beans.

That’s right, in twenty years I will have high blood sugar and the assassin’s plan will have come round to fruition. Luckily, the poor bastard in the picture ate most of the beans and left me with a note. I guess I should have helped him instead of stopping for this picture, but when life gives you lemons...