Ghosts from the Past

So today would have been my third wedding anniversary. I find myself pondering about what-if’s and could-have-been’s. I also find it ironic that just yesterday I got my letter from the New School in New York that said I didn’t make it into their Creative Writing graduate program. I didn’t really think that I would be one of the twenty-six people that they picked out of the thousand or so applicants, but it still is a let down. So my day has consisted of thinking about where my life is headed now.

I was going through a bunch of old songs that I had written while still in college, and one seemed to jump at me. The song was written during a totally different time in my life, but it applies to my current situation as well. It’s odd how songs can do that. Reflect one period of time when written, but still be prevalent at other times and in different situations. Here’s the first verse and chorus.

So Tired
I’m so tired
Of waking up every day
Wondering what I’m waking up for
I’m so tired
Of looking for the right girl
One who wants a little more
I’m so tired
Of trying to get by
And fucking up along the way
I’m so tired
Of waiting for a change
And watching it all slip away

Chorus: I’ve got to
Spread my wings and rise above this wasted life
I’ve been here way too long
I’ve got to get out of this same routine
It’s not where I belong
Soft sorrow and complacency
Are gonna be the death of me
I’ve got to get out from under this stone
And fly away

So, I’ve got some motivation from my past self, now I just have to put it into action.