The Adventures of Naked Dog!!
These are the adventures of Naked Dog, a super hero gifted with the ability of superb aim which she uses to hurdle, feet first, into her father’s junk-box before bounding away merrily and wondering why daddy is coughing up blood. With the speed of a monorail, the agility of an obese yak, and the grace of a 900 pound sack of wet diapers she sets into motion the moment she hears dad’s tires touch the drive-way and jumps just in time to catch him mid-“Hello” in the doorway. Yet, as all good super heroes, she has a weakness. Her superb aim extends only to the area of crotch soccer and not into other, more mundane things such as catching food from mid-air and finding the stick (which is right in front of her) during the game of fetch. Disguised, with her blue collar, as a mild mannered house dog named Ari in suburban West Tennessee, our heroine spends most of her day looking for things in dire need of chewing and causing mommy great distress. Yet, when she is needed…actually she is never really needed.
In this episode…
We find Naked Dog trapped in the Dungeon of the Bath by the dreaded Parents. These evil imposters look like mommy and dad, but show up often to do battle with our super hero. First, there is dad’s imposter…Tasty Hands, who will wrestle with our heroine instead of letting her chew on his fingers and who yells at her when she is trying to destroy an evil piece of paper she found lurking in the plastic container in the kitchen. Second, is mommy’s imposter…The Jailer, who will take our super hero on a seemingly innocent ride in the big metal machine to the Lair of the White Coated Shot Givers and who locks her up in the “crate” when she is trying to vanquish the dreaded Cat Brothers by chewing on their heads.
Thus, the Parents have discovered Naked Dog’s secret identity by removing her disguise/collar and are now torturing her in the Bath, either for pure maniacal enjoyment or for information about where she has hidden the sacred vial of Eye Drops. She struggles helplessly as Tasty Hands pours water on her and The Jailer scrubs some horrible, vanilla smelling gel all over her. She had just started smelling like mud, a favorite scent only superceded by dead bird, and now here they were making her smell like…like…them! “Oh, this evil plot, she thinks. I’ll never talk! Never!
But wait…what is this? It seems the door to the dungeon is slowly opening. Fu Manchu of the Cat Brothers pokes his head through the opening to see what is going on. I knew it! Naked Dog thinks to herself. My arch enemies, the Cat Brothers, are behind this whole scheme to make me smell like a human. The Parents have not yet seen the breach in security and Naked Dog sees this as her chance. She suddenly goes into massive convulsions and shakes sending water and vanilla suds everywhere. Tasty Hands lets go of her to shield his eyes and she makes her break for it.
In a speeding ball of white fluff and water Naked Dog shoots from the tub and out the door, leaving only shouts and wafting vanilla behind her. Free of the constraints of a collar, in only her birthday suit, she runs pell-mell through the house in all her naked glory. Bounding off walls and doorways she runs with abandon and searches out the Cat Brothers so that she can take her revenge for their plot against her. She stops at the sound of her secret identity and turns around. It’s dad! she thinks. He loves it when I jump between his legs to show my excitement and love. She makes a long turn to build speed, bullets toward her father, and makes the leap.
With a groan and some curse words, that even Naked Dog knows are bad, dad goes down to his knees so that our heroine can lick his face in affection. Moments later The Jailer grabs her and she sees that it was really the imposter Tasty Hands that led her into a trap by pretending to be dad. Very tricky of him to sacrifice his private bits to recapture her.
Back in the Dungeon of the Bath our super hero allows the imposters to finish taking her hard-earned mud smell away, but, showing great resilience, she never tells them a thing about her secret stash of pens, stuffed animal parts, and other chewables. When the torture is finally over and she is set free, she shakes and rolls as hard as she can, but the human smell remains. Her secret identity/collar is put back on and she once again become Ari, the household pet.
Yet, our hero knows that there will be a time when mom or dad will take her into the back yard again. When they do, she has but to wait for the right time. When they turn their heads and stop paying attention then she will find the mud hole beside the big metal air box (air conditioner) and then she will ultimately be shed of her secret identity and be transformed once again into…..
NAKED DOG!!!!!!
In this episode…
We find Naked Dog trapped in the Dungeon of the Bath by the dreaded Parents. These evil imposters look like mommy and dad, but show up often to do battle with our super hero. First, there is dad’s imposter…Tasty Hands, who will wrestle with our heroine instead of letting her chew on his fingers and who yells at her when she is trying to destroy an evil piece of paper she found lurking in the plastic container in the kitchen. Second, is mommy’s imposter…The Jailer, who will take our super hero on a seemingly innocent ride in the big metal machine to the Lair of the White Coated Shot Givers and who locks her up in the “crate” when she is trying to vanquish the dreaded Cat Brothers by chewing on their heads.
Thus, the Parents have discovered Naked Dog’s secret identity by removing her disguise/collar and are now torturing her in the Bath, either for pure maniacal enjoyment or for information about where she has hidden the sacred vial of Eye Drops. She struggles helplessly as Tasty Hands pours water on her and The Jailer scrubs some horrible, vanilla smelling gel all over her. She had just started smelling like mud, a favorite scent only superceded by dead bird, and now here they were making her smell like…like…them! “Oh, this evil plot, she thinks. I’ll never talk! Never!
But wait…what is this? It seems the door to the dungeon is slowly opening. Fu Manchu of the Cat Brothers pokes his head through the opening to see what is going on. I knew it! Naked Dog thinks to herself. My arch enemies, the Cat Brothers, are behind this whole scheme to make me smell like a human. The Parents have not yet seen the breach in security and Naked Dog sees this as her chance. She suddenly goes into massive convulsions and shakes sending water and vanilla suds everywhere. Tasty Hands lets go of her to shield his eyes and she makes her break for it.
In a speeding ball of white fluff and water Naked Dog shoots from the tub and out the door, leaving only shouts and wafting vanilla behind her. Free of the constraints of a collar, in only her birthday suit, she runs pell-mell through the house in all her naked glory. Bounding off walls and doorways she runs with abandon and searches out the Cat Brothers so that she can take her revenge for their plot against her. She stops at the sound of her secret identity and turns around. It’s dad! she thinks. He loves it when I jump between his legs to show my excitement and love. She makes a long turn to build speed, bullets toward her father, and makes the leap.
With a groan and some curse words, that even Naked Dog knows are bad, dad goes down to his knees so that our heroine can lick his face in affection. Moments later The Jailer grabs her and she sees that it was really the imposter Tasty Hands that led her into a trap by pretending to be dad. Very tricky of him to sacrifice his private bits to recapture her.
Back in the Dungeon of the Bath our super hero allows the imposters to finish taking her hard-earned mud smell away, but, showing great resilience, she never tells them a thing about her secret stash of pens, stuffed animal parts, and other chewables. When the torture is finally over and she is set free, she shakes and rolls as hard as she can, but the human smell remains. Her secret identity/collar is put back on and she once again become Ari, the household pet.
Yet, our hero knows that there will be a time when mom or dad will take her into the back yard again. When they do, she has but to wait for the right time. When they turn their heads and stop paying attention then she will find the mud hole beside the big metal air box (air conditioner) and then she will ultimately be shed of her secret identity and be transformed once again into…..
NAKED DOG!!!!!!
posted by Burning Stickman at 1:36 PM
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